


Obsolete Barrayaran Laws #31

by Gwynne



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-19
Updated: 2010-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-13 18:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/140503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwynne/pseuds/Gwynne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very light and silly look at a part of Barrayaran history.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obsolete Barrayaran Laws #31

“Sire…”  
Emperor Vlad Vorbarra frowned and tried to pretend that he was still reading his book, and that he hadn’t heard the soft voice of the armsman at the door.  
“Sire…it’s time.”  
The book was thrown to the floor. “Igor…tell them that I’m not available tonight.”  
Igor sighed, “Sire, you know this is the law. Those young women…the law must be obeyed.”  
“I AM the bloody law. Why can’t I…”  
Somehow Igor had assisted his emperor out of the chair and toward the door, “And we’re all grateful for the fine example you set for your subjects.”  
“Maybe I could set an example for fewer of them. I’m not as young as I used to be, you know.”  
They were halfway down the corridor. “But Sire, you know the law. Every Vor maiden has the right…”  
“It’s not compulsory, dammit, they can choose not to!”  
Igor nodded, “But who would refuse the honour?”  
They were getting closer to the sounds of excited chattering. “For heaven’s sake, Igor, how many of them are out there?”  
“About the usual, Sire.”  
“Not all for tonight, surely. A man has his limits.”  
Igor tried to look reassuring, “No Sire, they just like to support each other.”  
“I wish someone would support me. I nearly put my back out last night. That Vorinnis girl was … well, they’re definitely breeding them sturdy in her family.”  
“A very vigorous young woman, Sire.”  
“I hope you’ve picked a quiet one next. I still don’t understand why they’re all so set on this.”  
By unspoken agreement they stopped before the doorway, Igor brushed some invisible dust from his master’s shoulders, “It’s one of the Vorutyer girls.”  
“A crazy one or a quiet one?”  
“Uh… I don’t think there are any quiet ones this season. Sorry Sire.”  
“Why do I have to do this? I mean, all of them? Perhaps you armsmen could help out?”  
“Most of us are married, Sire. Our wives would never agree to it.”  
Vlad frowned, “My wife….”  
“Is a very understanding woman, Sire. Besides, she knew it was one of your duties.”  
Vlad wasn’t giving up, “How about Nikolai? He’s not married.”  
“But there’s his Trouble, Sire. He’d never manage…not on a regular basis. And his appliance would never take the strain. Cheer up, Sire, there’s not too many to go and you’ll be finished for the season.”  
“I’m feeling finished right now.” He sighed in defeat, “Ok, fine, give me a few minutes to …er…relax, then send her in.” He trudged wearily into the reception room that had been set aside for the purpose. “I hope the maids haven’t left the warming pan in the bed again. Gives a man a nasty shock, that does, when you slide between the sheets. You don’t expect a hot imprint on your – well, it makes it difficult to concentrate on the task in hand. So to speak.”  
History records that Emperor Vlad Vorbarra didn’t shirk his duties. However, sadly, after a particularly tiring session with the Vorhalas twins, during which he pulled several muscles in his back and was in traction for two months, he finally revoked the law that entitled every Vor maiden to be deflowered by the Emperor himself.  
Vlad liked to think of it as his gift to future Emperors, freeing them from a lifetime of chiropracty.


End file.
